Dr. Visits and Wal-Mart deals

As some of you may know Dave has been having shoulder/ arm pain. He has finally been to the Dr. and it turns out he has mild arthritis in his neck and is now going to physical therapy for it. They also discovered that he has carpal tunnel in one wrist and a pinched nerve in his elbow (other arm). So at least he has a diagnosis now. We went to Wal-Mart the other day to pick up a splint thing for his wrist. We are just waiting on the other brace thingy for his elbow.
Anyway, while we were at Wal-Mart we found the clearance isle... (this may bore you folks but it's exciting stuff for us! LOL) We found a color printer/scanner/copier. (Awesome right!?) Not even the best part. only $35!!! marked down from almost $90! Anyway we thought it was way cool. Dave also got another DVD drive for $7.
I had a Dr. appt. today along with ultrasound since I am measuring a couple weeks behind according to the tape measure but fine from the ultrasound but it's been the same with past pregnancies. I just have small babies or just hide them well. Anyway we got a few pictures so I'm trying out our new scanner and hopefully this works. The first picture is of his fist. Second one is a face shot where you can see an outline of his eye and nose. Third is a foot (with 1 toe?). Hopefully only about 6 more weeks left!

Are you qualified?

POSITION :
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

JOB DESCRIPTION :

Long term, team players needed, for challenging,
permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments
in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES :

The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a
pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph
in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams
from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings
for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :

None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without
complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills,
so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :

None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION :

Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS :

While no health or dental insurance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered;
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
unconditional love,
and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.

** AND A FOOTNOTE 'THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **